Getting your Affairs in Order – Look at Your Life, Not Your Death

When I was in my 20s without any real possessions or responsibilities, I did a really good job of managing my affairs.

As I planned for a trip to the Middle East, I created a file of information and labeled it “Just in Case.” You know what was in it? A note of forgiveness for my ex-boyfriend. Yep. That was all I needed to say from Heaven. I look back and appreciate the beauty of that phase when I told (almost) everyone how I felt about them and there were no procedures that really needed to carry on without me. I had my “affairs in order.” Ahhhh, it was a simpler time.

Chaos
Fast-forward and the word “simple” has been expunged from my daily vernacular, with the possible exception of my favorite magazine. And as I think about any unspoken messages that need to be communicated once my soul has moved on, the list is a long series of daunting logistics. I have become much better at managing relationships since then, but organizing my life in such a way that someone could carry on without me? Let’s just say I’m hoping it won’t happen. Yeah, that should work! (?)

Needless to say, when an acquaintance told me about a product he had created called the JustInCase file, I sensed it was time to reach back into the archive of uncompleted tasks on my to do list. Not only did I want to support this cause, because I really do think it’s the most loving thing you can do for your loved ones, but he named it the same thing I did 20 years ago.

Avoidance
And it’s not like I wasn’t reminded of my need for a JustInCase file during those years. I’m a Certified Financial Planner™, and the road to obtain that certification hammers home the need to get your clients’ affairs in order. One time, I watched one of my favorite clients become a widow. Her husband had worked with my firm to get all the estate preparation locked down. But there were household details that befuddled her, heightening her overall lack of confidence during what was already a difficult time of loss. Even that experience failed to compel me to update my own file, now sitting in my filing cabinet with an emptiness that spoke volumes about my avoidance issues.

The JustInCase file, has a tag line that finally motivated me to get it done: “A real gift for your loved ones.” Fine. You got me. I need to do this and I need to do it today.

A look at how you live
In completing it, I realized this project is not so much about your death, it’s about your life. The first page prompts you to list your family and friends, and I enjoyed making a list of those I love. Now that it’s done, turning to that page makes my heart glad as I look at the names of those who love me so much they would be willing to drop everything to come take care of our household. Once our family’s file was complete, I found myself grateful for the exercise because it’s a tremendous assessment of where we stand in life. As we strive to continually improve ourselves, this serves as a brilliant inventory of what needs to rise in priority on our to-do list.

And if you have someone else to consult about managing your affairs, (a husband, child, parent, friend, etc.) you will certainly want to review the partially completed file with that person to discover any items you may have missed, or to compare your understanding of how your lives are ordered. Where there are discrepancies, those things need to be resolved. But I encourage women to take a stab at filling this out first on your own. It’s a tremendous opportunity for reflection and goal setting. Plus, you will have a sense of peace after checking that nagging item off your to do list.

Here’s to creating order in our financial lives!