Put Money in its Place

So many of us fall into the trap of thinking money is evil. We project onto a simple piece of paper the power to ruin us. Or alternatively, we dream about having more of it with the expectation that it will fix everything.

Change your approach, change your results. Photo credit: @BellsDesign

For our money to get out of control, we need to LET it get out of control.  If you feel like money has power over you, the answer lies not in getting MORE money.  Relief will come once you put money in it place. This can be a dark process to unearth the beliefs or experiences that have inflated money’s importance in your life. It’s time to shine a light in the dark places. It’s time to change your money mindset. Below are some ideas to consider when launching  your mindset shift.

As a society, we  often approach finances with a set of attitudes that don’t necessarily serve us well:

1. Money can’t be controlled.
2. Money makes people do terrible things.
3. Money causes conflict.
4. Finances are too difficult to understand.
5. Money issues are better left unspoken.

The beliefs above result in negative attitudes, unproductive behaviors and irrational fears. The United States is still one of the few countries to consider money talk as socially rude.  It’s fine if you don’t want to discuss your income or net worth, but our money mindset is about so much more than that! Here are the practical corollaries to the beliefs listed above.

1. Money is just a tool, we control it.
2. Money also makes people do beautiful things. It depends on the person.
3. There exists a WIDE range of opinions of and approaches to money. And this may come as a surprise to all of us, but our opinions aren’t necessarily right.  It’s not the money that causes conflict, it’s the differences in our approach. Money is blamed as a leading cause of divorce, and when you look at the differing money approaches of men and women, this makes sense. But you can no more blame money than you can blame the kids for fights between spouses (the real culprit is your differing parenting styles, right?)  If we are sensitive, hones and deeply intentional with our money communications, today’s conflicts could lead to closer relationships.
4. The world of finance has a lot of jargon, most of which you don’t need to understand. There are a few key principles worth knowing, and once you understand those, you will have mastered all that is necessary.
5. Culturally we have been tricked into thinking that money talk is rude. But think of how powerful we are when we women collaborate! Discussing your money issues with other women can be an excellent tool for building confidence, finding accountability, and and changing your mindset. In families, money issues left unspoken prevent intimacy. If your intention is to be close to someone, discuss money stuff and let it bring you closer.